LOVE
expanded
Ethical Non-Monogamy & Polyamory Coaching
in Berlin & Online
For individuals, couples and polycules who want more trust, clearer communication and relationships that actually work, without squeezing themselves into someone else's idea of love.
Relationship & ENM Coach
Hi, I’m Maria Botan.
I work with individuals, couples and polycules navigating ethical non-monogamy, polyamory and open relationships from opening up and changing agreements to jealousy, conflict, trust and the complicated bits nobody warned you about.
My approach combines relationship psychology, Gottman-based couples work, emotional regulation and somatic methods.
Because understanding why you react the way you do is useful. But change happens when you can notice it happening, stay with yourself, talk about it and choose what happens next.
I don’t believe there is one correct way to love.
I believe relationships work better when there is enough honesty, freedom, care, communication and repair for the people actually living them.
Warm, practical, curious and very human.
No judgement. No relationship dogma.
Open relationships · Polyamory · ENM · Relationship transitions · Jealousy · Boundaries · Communication
Open relationships · Polyamory · ENM · Relationship transitions · Jealousy · Boundaries · Communication
Relationships outside the script still need good relationship skills.
Opening a relationship can bring freedom, excitement and possibility. It can also expose everything that was easier not to look at before.
Jealousy. Different needs. NRE. Boundaries that suddenly aren't clear. Fear of losing each other. Difficult conversations. Questions about freedom, security and what each of you actually needs.
You don't need a perfect relationship. You need better tools for the relationship you're actually in.
I work with people considering non-monogamy, already living it, or trying to find each other again after things became complicated.
ENM coaching for real relationship problems
Opening your relationship
You want to explore non-monogamy without sacrificing the relationship you already value. We'll work on expectations, agreements, boundaries, fears and the conversations worth having before things get complicated.
When jealousy hits
Jealousy isn't proof that you're bad at non-monogamy. It can carry fear, comparison, attachment, grief, longing or a need that hasn't found words yet. We'll work out what yours is trying to tell you, and what to do with it.
Communication & conflict
When you're flooded, scared or defensive, even a reasonable conversation can go spectacularly wrong. You'll learn practical ways to slow things down, understand each other and repair without turning every difficult moment into a relationship referendum.
Building relationships that fit you
Polyamory, hierarchical poly, open relationships, relationship anarchy, something in between… the goal isn't to perform ENM correctly. It's to create relationships that are ethical, sustainable and honest for the people actually living them.
Ways to work with me
Couples Coaching
For couples and polycules navigating opening up, jealousy, conflict, agreements, changing needs or rebuilding trust.
Individual Relationship Coaching
For people who want clarity around relationships, attachment, boundaries, non-monogamy, dating or their own patterns in connection.
Practical, playful workshops on relationships, communication, jealousy, consent and co-regulation, including workshops in Berlin's sex-positive community.
Workshops & Events
A six-month coaching journey for people who want to go deeper than solving the crisis of the week.
Build the communication, emotional regulation and relationship habits that make honesty, freedom, security and connection easier to sustain.
The Love Revolution
MY COACHING METHOD
-
DETECT
Notice what's happening.
We slow down enough to recognise the thoughts, emotions, body sensations and old patterns getting activated before they take over the conversation.
-
STOP
Create a little space.
Instead of immediately defending, pursuing, withdrawing or fixing, you learn how to pause and regulate enough to stay connected to yourself.
-
REDIRECT
Choose what happens next.
From there, you can respond with intention: ask for what you need, set a boundary, repair, reconnect or make a different choice.
What People Are Saying
We've been seeing Maria for over a year and we've found it immensely useful for us to create better ways of communicating with each other. It takes time but I can definitely recommend the 6-month course!
Very competent, knowledgeable and professional. She helps individuals navigate the complexities of enm by providing:
1. Excellent tools, which, if learnt and used, help manage any relationship better.
2. Unlearn destructive patterns gathered throughout past personal experiences.
3. Scenario specific guidance through examples and literature
4. Unbiased feedback on observed behaviour
Highly recommend.
Maria is an amazing coach! I met her at the end of 2023 where she gave a workshop about poly relationships to a group of women. I was amazed and hooked from the start. She truly knows how to make one feel safe in this challenging world, she is very knowledgeable and compassionate. I‘ve been to several of her workshops since our first encounter, and every time I learn something new about my mind, my body, my patterns, my boundaries.
As a one-on-one coach, Maria meets the person with presence, curiosity, calmness, doesn‘t mind to revisit the same topic over and over, as long as one needs to process it and learn from it.
Since I've met Maria almost 3 years ago she's been helping me navigate my poly journey. I know her as a highly professional, empathetic and caring person. My life has changed significantly with her as coach and guide and I will be forever grateful for it!!
Maria brings together an amazing mix of knowledge, experience, and deep practical insight to everything she does. Her workshops are among the absolute best I have ever attended! She seamlessly blends structured, easy-to-understand content with interactive audience engagement, real life examples, role-playing, and gamification to keep everyone fully involved.
Beyond her workshops, her coaching has been truly transformative, and has supported me on multiple levels across both my professional life and romantic relationships. She has a captivating way of combining fun with genuine wisdom. If you are looking for impactful coaching or high quality workshops for groups, I cannot recommend Maria highly enough!
upcoming workshop
FINDING EACH OTHER AGAIN
The Art of Co-Regulation at Play Parties
September 4, 20:30-21:00 CET
Four Play
@KitKatClub
